Tag Archives: Changing Jobs

I was offered a job three months ago.

It was a job that I had been seeking for the past two years. I wanted to go back to being a trainer and a company offered me a chance to do so.

Things did not start off well and I knew by the end of the first month, it was a wrong choice.

I decided to stick with the choice anyway , but did bring up to my boss the problems that I faced working in the new environment. He seemed understanding and supportive up till one day my probation was to end. He didn’t even drop the bombshell, he got into a meeting room with HR, half the world across from me and had HR give me the news that they don’t think I am a good fit.

It would have been nice to get a “Good luck and Goodbye ” from the man who hired me. But it looked like he was too much a coward to do so.
I amicably accepted the compensation offered and left the office, after packing my stuff.

My life currently has screeched to a stop.

I was looking back at my Changing Directions articles and realise it was the one thing I was secretly wishing for. Being pulled forcibly out of the corporate environment. But in taking the new job, i had to let go of the online part-time work as well and so my fall back plan had disappeared too.

I wanted to make sure I do not lapse into non-activity and decided to start journaling my Jobless days.




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Changing Direction : Part 1


change (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

There are plenty of jobs available in this world, even in the U.S whose economy is not doing so well currently. Companies make all sort of effort to make a less glamorous job appear more appealing. Human resource personnel seem to have believed that a nicer sounding title will make up for that lousy paycheck and lack of appreciation. It’s the easiest to implement solution that has been taught and widely used by the HR practitioners.

This rings especially true for mundane, repetitive work.

Sadly the thrill of having a nice sounding job title typed in Arial 12 in your resume only goes so far to fill that hole in your soul.

When asked what is the most disappointing thing about my job, I wrote down satisfaction and appreciation.

Years of selling out to a stable job and salary have finally taken toll and I officially declared my soul numbed and quite possibly I am but a shell of a person left.

A few months back, as I faced impending retrenchment (the threat of which still looms like a black cloud above my head). I approached the threat first by panicking, second by checking if I have enough money to tide me over and for how long. Eventually I arrived at the third stage which was figuring out what I was going to do next.

I have to say I am still stuck at this stage(been probably stuck at this question for the past 20 years). Although my job is currently going to remained safe, the thought that I might get retrenched and that I would no longer be required to go into the office and be another unappreciated , under-utilized employee with no career advancement actually lifted my spirits. I attempted one or two interviews before I realized that I would just be placing myself back in a environment where 80 percent of the time I am not fully using my skills, am numb and feel utterly colorless.

This brought me back to the same question which I was not able to find an answer to all these years and the inability to answer the question held me prisoner to society’s (and my parents’) idea of how I should earn my living.

What SHOULD I do?

A job which I love or  A job which I do what I am best at.

Figuring out what I am passionate about is another conundrum. Figuring out what I do best is worst, fire sirens sound at the smoke coming out of my head.

Let’s be honest , I am mediocre.

And as Albert Camus once said “Idleness is fatal only to the mediocre.”

Working without any interest or passion for your work results in the idleness of the brain and it has indeed proven lethal for my soul.

But can one who is mediocre metamorphose into something else?

To be continued….

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