Category Archives: Love Life

Being single is …

There isn’t anything wrong with being single. Just as there isn’t anything wrong with couples who don’t want kids or not being married even though one has kids.

But yet the world at large and even crossing different cultures, societies make it seem that women or men who do not get hitched or are in a relationship are failures somehow. It results in such men and women having to find all sort of excuses.

  1. I like being single
  2. I ‘m single by choice for career, freedom etc.

etc, etc.

I’m single. Not in a relationship. And it is not by choice.

The advice and comments about my singlehood from friends are not positive. If I ask advice from  them, they would say things like I am too picky or not casual about sex enough or not making the effort.

It is disheartening enough not to be able to meet someone you like who likes you back but worse when your friends make remarks as though finding a partner is as easy as picking up groceries and that the entire problem must be 1. i am just not pretty enough or 2. I have a horrible personality.

The funniest thing is that such thinking does not just come from married people or people in a relationship, it comes from people who are single themselves and finding it a hard time to find the right guy themselves!

Relationships are not easy. It is even  harder to find someone who wants the same thing as you do and be attracted to you (and you to that person) at the same time. I still harbour the hope of finding someone who I can share my life with at some point but in the meantime, I am happy with being single too. And even if I never find that someone special, I will still live my life as best as I can.

The world doesn’t always give you what you want despite you checking all the boxes and I just want to reach out to all those singles out there who are not single by choice that you have nothing to be ashamed about or be beating yourself up about.

 

 

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Men are confusing creatures

I met a guy at a gathering the other night.

We had a really good conversation and he asked for my contact which I willingly provided. He also said that he would like very much to meet up with me a few days later for lunch and I went off getting the impression that he was interested in me.

Prior to the “date”, he messaged me a few times and asked mainly how my day was and what I was doing.

Today, we finally met up at a cafe which I recommended. His attitude seem to had a 180 degree change since he last messaged me.
He seem impatient to get the lunch going and he said he made plans with a friend to meet at the gym.

The cafe we were in was meant to be one where you can slowly take your food and enjoy the meal and maybe have a chat later.

But he seemed to anxious to get the food ordered and once he noticed I had my last bite of my chicken, immediately ask for the bill…

After the one and half an hour lunch, we parted with him giving me a handshake.

I have a strong feeling that I am not going to be contacted by him anymore.

Men can be such conflicting creatures sometimes.

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“I read “The Second Sex”, I read “The Cinderella Complex”, I’m responsible for my own orgasms, I don’t care! ” Quote from Tootsie

I’m single and in my mid- 30s.

I’ve never dated, never kissed a guy and never…well think you should guessed by now what I never did.

It’s not that uncommon amongst my close friends (either that’s what I want to believe or they are not sharing bed stories with me) but it seems to be incredibly hard to meet someone you like who likes you back.

I don’t have very high standards  (or at least I don’t think I do) but somehow me and my friends have a hard time finding interested parties.

And while lamenting on  that, we will bring up other people (who are not close friends) who are horrible , either in looks or personality, who would snag the nicest guy/gal you can find.

One time, on Valentine’s Day, while dejectedly shopping by myself watching in envy and disgust at couples everywhere, I saw this woman, literally pulling her boyfriend while he was walking beside her as he played his Sony PS2! He was not even looking where he was going, he was the blind being lead by his dog (I am in no way trying to insult the woman,its merely an analogy).

It’s Valentine for god sakes Dude! How the hell is she not mad and is still willing to date this guy??

Another time, while smoking sheesha with a guy that I fancied (who in the end did not returned the sentiments) I noticed a young couple sitting next to us. He was engrossed with his iPad and she was watching a Korean drama on a laptop. They came out all the way for a date at a hip  and happening sheesha outdoor cafe to do things separately and not even acknowledging each other. I consoled my broken heart later by reminding myself of this couple.

Then there are friends we know that panic about remaining single and dying alone after they turn 30. Its kind of like some DNA mutation that occurs in them and they are able to accept any bullshit excuse of a man/woman and announce that they are getting married.

There are also those that seem to think that being married before and divorced is better than never being married at all. Cos just being picked previously and not left on the shelf (despite the picker dumping said product later) means somehow you are normal.

Although, to be fair, at my darkest moments I have often wondered what deviant mutant personality or looks  do I not see that makes guys I like say “Nah, sorry not interested.”

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