Online Dating

Meeting new people after graduation is always difficult. I imagined it was the same in our parents’ generation, if  not matchmaking would not have been so popular.

It appears that matchmaking is still one of the best way to find the other half , as seen with the mushrooming sites for meeting a potential partner online.

Having been single for a while, mold having grown and rusted my dating skills. I decided to take affirmative action and threw myself whole heatedly into the online dating scene.
Coincidentally, two of my friends, one overseas in Europe and one in Singapore also told me they had started meeting men online.
Not wanting to dip my toe in without any knowledge of what I will be getting myself into, I chatted them up and dug for information of their experiences thus far.
My Singaporean friend joined Lovestruck.com but her first meetup was with a guy who immediately decided that she was THE ONE, despite her trying her best to clue him in that he is NOT the one.
She ended up having to fend him off her handphone and email.
The other friend in France, had better luck with her site and she actually found a guy that she started seeing seriously after meeting three other potentials.

Right, so one ended up with a stalker and the other found someone who she is dating exclusively. Extreme results.
Guess finding love does require some risks after all, and with that thought, I plunge wholeheartedly into creating my profile.
I meticulously chose a photo that brought out my best side but not to the extend that the guy will think he has been cheated when he sees me in person.
I gave serious consideration and care to each question, from my likes, dislikes to what I look for in a partner, not forgetting too, to use my writing to let my personality shine through.
In short, I put in effort.
So I was more than disappointed when I discovered that several profiles in the site’s database had no photos and many did not even bother to list any information about themselves.

But despite having to wade through winks made by several of these non-entities without photos or any sense of their personality and interests, I did managed to start conversing by mail with two guys.

The first guy ended up to be paranoid about chatting on webcameras and a persistent insistence that I add him to my Facebook.
I suggested that we meet face to face, if he doubted my sincerity or was afraid that I had submitted a fraudulent picture.
He was adamant that he will not know me if he does get to see my Facebook. I suggested that we stop communicating anymore.

The second guy was polite and immediately went about trying to set up a date to meet one another.
I was quite excited as several of his interests matched my own.
We arranged to meet a week from when we emailed. On the day itself, after waiting for about 15 mins, I messaged him asking him whether he was late.
He messaged me with a cryptic apology and that he will explain once he got there. He arrived half an hour later, by which time, I had gotten a seat in Starbucks and was enjoying a latte. Things went off on a bad start when he explained he was late because he had forgotten the date and became unsalvageable after some conversation when he said he likes sweet women and asked me whether I was sweet. I told him I’m definitely not a sweet girl. I further expanded the topic after an awkward silence that I noticed guys in Singapore seem to go for the sweet girls.
He replied in a way that got all my knickers in a twist“ Oh, you noticed that have you?” (undertone implying probably that’s why I am still single).
A HUGE cross appeared in my mind. I knew I made the right decision not to see him again, when we were about to leave and he wanted to get the waitress to get the bill.
It was Starbucks.

I discovered that online dating can be more complicated than just setting up a profile and flipping through other people’s profiles.
You are meeting people for the first time, trying to ascertain if you like the person or if the person likes you. Everyone tends to be more sensitive as there is a high possibility of being rejected and thus either try to reject you first or start behaving like a egoistic bastard to overcompensate.

Then there are the people with the deadline and go through the first date like an interview, asking direct and sensitive questions one would never ask someone they just met.

So is online dating more hype than a possible way to meet The One?

I still think a lot of it has to do with one’s attitude when meeting people from the site, both parties have to be on the same page and try for a few dates rather than just checking or crossing the boxes immediately.

No one ever said finding love is easy.

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